i hope so

oh geez it's been too long lol

my eyes hurt a lot right now but i feel like blogging cuz even tho my eyes hurt, i'm hecka awake and bored.

i don't really feel like catching up on things lol cuz i take way too long putting it up here but whenever something comes up then yeah.

but real quick i should mention lol this week was the new semester which means YAY CHOIR AGAIN! and 'aw no more creative writing class' (and no more spanish either) ):

i miss creative writing lol it was such a chill class and everyone was lovely. i loved going into class everyday and just being random and having like not too much hw lol and just being with the people. and my teacher mr. kerr was cool too.

on that note lol here's a video i made of the class






oh yeah and i've been singing at cafes! lol i love singing at cafes.




at the next cafe show we do, i'm gonna jam with my homie ian lolll it'll be a surprise, sure. ian's in his lil band thing called A New Hope. check em out (: "Her" is my favorite song, if you ask me.



anyways so today was practice and it was fun. i like practices because i get to be with my friends and we get to kick it more than usual on the weekends (well, i do) and yeah. it makes me happy to see all my closest friends with me together, especially because not everyone initially got along, but i guess they're cool with each other now? i ain't know lol






but a lot of it was stressful too. i lost my voice more because of it. i hope it comes back tomorrow!

in the morning we went to newark to get fitted for the dresses. i rode with brian and christine while everyone else was in sergio's car. it was really nice of him to drive us because he didn't need to be there. and yeah i didn't even ask him to drive everyone, nguyet just brought it up like the night before and yeah. maybe he's bored in the morning lol iono jk

we got there by 11:50am, and the business card fot the store said they open at 11. but when we got there it was closed cuz there was new business hours (the store opens at 12 now.) so my mom called the lady Lolita and she was nice enough to rush there cuz we were waiting.

when we were waiting for the lady to come and open the store christine was tryna teach me this dance (that i can't even dance lol) and then yeah some people were hungry and stuff. i told sergio and them they could eat first if they want. sergio was mean because i was saying iloveyou!!! and stuff and he was like "go away" and what not. i know he's kidding but at the same time geeeez he does that all the time. we're like bro and sis i guess. we annoy each other. but theres times when i'm serious and he doesn't take me cereally.. i don't like it. i actually feel like the older sister sometimes because yeah. i try to be cool with whatever but then there's a lot of times when it's like what i say doesn't matter. i try to include him in practices cuz i feel really bad that marjorie's not always here for practices. i get that he might be impatient about her not being there, but i get really impatient sometimes too yah know..

today i got really upset when i came from the kitchen at practice today into the garage and everyone was looking at porn on my laptop. that wasn't funny.. usually i'd be like ha haaaaaaaaa or whatever but dude. it's my house. if u wanna look at porn, do that at some other place, not my house. i felt really disrespected, i have to be straight up about that. i'm hearing different things about what happened and who started it.. but i'm choosing to believe one person because i really trust her. when i asked sergio why he did what he did he denied everything and i guess i got too mad.. thing is though is that he still lied to me and said he had nothing to do with it. um yeah i don't buy that, sorry. and like he does so much for me, but still, what he did was innappropriate.. i just got really frustrated after that, especially after he said "fuck this" and left.

marjorie and natalie are coming over tomorrow to practice and to go with me to newark for the dress fittings. can't wait to see marjorie again. i just wish i saw her everyweek and that she and natalie come to every single practice, because we really do need everyone everytime. i want them to be here (and it's super hard since they're so far), and this doesn't just apply to the two of them..

not everyone has been attending practice. well, the girls at least. i'm surprised it's the girls not showing up, and that the guys are usually here. but still, my cotillion's coming up and i cereally need everyone -_- we've really only had like one practice with EVERYONEEEE here together. lol and um that's not good.

what's hard for me is when i'm told that they have 'something to do' on the day we have practice. it's hard for me not to be lenient omg lol. ugh. but maaaan. i need the practices actually part of their schedule ):

everyone's been doing a good job catching up though, it's just the group parts that needs. work.

i'm honestly not having as much fun in cotillion practices as much as i thought i would. i really wanna cry a lot of times cuz i'm so frikkin stressed about it, but i try to convince myself it'll all be worth it in the end. i really hope so.