feboooweary fourteenth

it was february the 13th and i think i actually did sorta get bad luck.
i figured out lots of stuff (and i'm not very happy about that).

i'll talk about my friday some other time, when i'm in the mood.

bye

freeze

now where would i go if i had a time machine..

tell him

yelloooooo

today is not a significant day in my life

lol i tried sounding sophisticated. i dont think it worked

anywhoo this morning was cool cuz i got to draw on ed's itouchphonething! lol i drew spongebob, blosssom from powerpuff girls and polkadots. it was cooooool

the whole day i didn't eat cheerios today. today was a ritz crackers day. lol

for some reason i noticed that since the new semester started, it's been feeling a little different. i ain't know why. like it's not just the schedule change, but i think it's because people aren't around as much (cutting perhaps? lol) and because everyone's out doing sports and stuff. i ain't know. i miss a lot of thangs from last semester and last year or whatevaaaa

this school year is passing by rather quickly and i think it's time i need to live up the next few months.. i've only partially been doing that. this senior year has sucked though because of stress and because nothing at school has been going on. like.. the spirit at our school sucks buttcrack! i'm sorry but dude it's horrible lol really. i think that's sad considering its senior year, and its unfortunate for me to think that there are more sad times than happy times to remember. lol wow that was emo of me to say

so lyyyyyyyke since i got home i've been listening to some adele and lauryn hill. adele got a grammy wooooo. i like how she's not a skinny celeb. anyways yea adele and lauryn hill. i love their styles. their styles are almost the same in some way but they're not at all. kinda weird. the song i repeated the most is "tell him" by lauryn hill. i want to find an instrumental for it so i could maybe perform it one day.

which reminds me that ian and i gotta jam again to work on our song for the next cafe gig! hahaha

so yeah my back hurts like a motherrrrfudger so i shall go to sleep now ):

i needa start putting up more pics on this thang again

falling cheerios and a lincoln

(hahahaha)

whoooo today was swell despite the ugly cold runnynose weather.


this morning- i didn't wake up late! aaaand right when i got to school i found a $5 bill on the ground LOL that shure started my day

then in buckley's we had a test part 2. i hecka forgot about it but it was alright (luwissa and i are smart hehe). during the test i ate cheerios. lol one fell out my mouth or my hand, iono where, and it rolled off the desk and on the floor. i couldn't find it anymore though. it camoflauges with the [ugly] tiles in the classroom. so i was like aw poor cheerio lol cuz it'd be kicked around, swept, or smooshed someday. poor lil fella has to suffer. or maybe he'll go on a journey from a dust pan to a garbage can? i ain't know lol i'm dumb

so 2nd block i had english, which was kewl cuz we didnt really work cept do a reading log and work with our partners. jordan was my partner. we had to write a simile and a metaphor for "war is..."

"War is like a thunderstorm." -Jordan
"War is a BIG scribble." - me lol

i think mine sounded really kiddy compared to the other kids that wrote "war is a nightmare" or "war is pain" or whatever the heck alla em wrote. loll but hey, no one else used "scribble."

after thaayyyt was lunch time and kenny and i chilled in his car while he studied. well actually we warmed up, not chilled. because it was super cold outside and in his car it was hecka warm (ha. ha ha lol) but yah know what i means

then third block i worked on my paper bracelet and necklace. i'm almost done with it, i just needa finish putting the shiney coating over my beads. i really like it. it's pretty lol it's actually something i'd wear. nonuh that corny colorful i'dneverwearthattoschool crap. (:

then fourth block- choir. oh boy my throat hurts from there holy crud. i love singing and all, but man only on my free will hahaha jk. i was half asleep while singing, believe it or not lol. then my eyes went wide awake cuz i realized my mom's earring that i was wearing was gone. i was like "oh crap!" so i asked to go to the 'bathroom' and went ALLLLLLL around the school to retrace my steps. yep. i went thru EVERY HALLWAY lol i'm a loser. but dang dude it was cold! i felt stupid for looking down and searching left and right on the ground for that freaking earring. i even went to my 3rd block class to find it cuz i remember still wearing it in that class. lol the kids in that class musta thought i was super odd looking around like a dog.

so when i gave up, i sighed and my breath fog (wtheck do u call that?) showed in the cold air like i was smoking lol. i was bummed cuz i think i've lost my mom's necklace before.

so i went back in the choir room and WOOOOOOW there it was. on the floor. under to my chair. i went all around the freaking school just to find that thing. unbelievable.

lol

so yup after school while waiting for my dad to pick me up (which took forever), i ate some more cheerios haha. i was like wtheck dude cuz i kept dropping cheerios on the ground. what a pig! ya

so yeahhh poor little cheerios.. chasing pavements. then they'd be crushed by some pedestrian that has no respect for cheerios whatsoever hahah jk wow i really am bored

anyways i went home and ate some popeye's chicken and made some invitations for my cotillion. then i went to men's warehouse cuz there was a problem with the tuxes, so we had to get that straightened out.

then when i was gonna shower and took off my shirt a cheerio fell to the floor lol wow i really am a pig

and yeah lol thats pretty much it. my aim's being stupid so i'm pretty much bored.

what a weekend.

whew. i guess things are resolved now, and i'm glad.

that "fog" has cleared up now. i'm glad about the choices i've made.

i know this prolly isn't the last thing i would ever stress about for my cotillion-- there's a lot more of that to come (oh boy) but hopefully they won't be as bad

the three day weekend of heck is almost over. homework time ): lol

distress of stress (if that makes sense)

in my last blog, i said that a lot of times i feel like i want to cry because of all this stress. and yup, i cried.


yesterday, saturday, was the most shitty day ever. it takes me this much to make me cuss. i think many people know why, and it might feel a little wrong that i'm blasting this on here, but expressing how i feel is what a blog is for.

i am angry, sad, frustrated, and disappointed.

i must say that the extra stress that has been put upon me is very uncalled for, and i really don't need it. i really never thought in a million years that i would have to go through this, but because of what happened yesterday, i have no more room to be patient about all this anymore.

i've tried so many times to be patient with everything, but yesterday was my boiling point, as it probably was for certain people.

i've mentioned so many times how appreciative i am of everything but i feel like i don't get any appreciation back. i feel highly disrespected, and so does my mom.

there were sooooooo many times when things went wrong with cotillion practices, and my mom would warn me or complain about something, but then i always end up defending someone in my court. but this time i have no reason to defend anymore. my mom is right, and i feel really sorry to say that. i have mixed feelings about everything.

honestly, i don't know where we're going with this right now.. i hope we stay friends, but

i didn't know you were gonna hurt me like that.

i hope so

oh geez it's been too long lol

my eyes hurt a lot right now but i feel like blogging cuz even tho my eyes hurt, i'm hecka awake and bored.

i don't really feel like catching up on things lol cuz i take way too long putting it up here but whenever something comes up then yeah.

but real quick i should mention lol this week was the new semester which means YAY CHOIR AGAIN! and 'aw no more creative writing class' (and no more spanish either) ):

i miss creative writing lol it was such a chill class and everyone was lovely. i loved going into class everyday and just being random and having like not too much hw lol and just being with the people. and my teacher mr. kerr was cool too.

on that note lol here's a video i made of the class






oh yeah and i've been singing at cafes! lol i love singing at cafes.




at the next cafe show we do, i'm gonna jam with my homie ian lolll it'll be a surprise, sure. ian's in his lil band thing called A New Hope. check em out (: "Her" is my favorite song, if you ask me.



anyways so today was practice and it was fun. i like practices because i get to be with my friends and we get to kick it more than usual on the weekends (well, i do) and yeah. it makes me happy to see all my closest friends with me together, especially because not everyone initially got along, but i guess they're cool with each other now? i ain't know lol






but a lot of it was stressful too. i lost my voice more because of it. i hope it comes back tomorrow!

in the morning we went to newark to get fitted for the dresses. i rode with brian and christine while everyone else was in sergio's car. it was really nice of him to drive us because he didn't need to be there. and yeah i didn't even ask him to drive everyone, nguyet just brought it up like the night before and yeah. maybe he's bored in the morning lol iono jk

we got there by 11:50am, and the business card fot the store said they open at 11. but when we got there it was closed cuz there was new business hours (the store opens at 12 now.) so my mom called the lady Lolita and she was nice enough to rush there cuz we were waiting.

when we were waiting for the lady to come and open the store christine was tryna teach me this dance (that i can't even dance lol) and then yeah some people were hungry and stuff. i told sergio and them they could eat first if they want. sergio was mean because i was saying iloveyou!!! and stuff and he was like "go away" and what not. i know he's kidding but at the same time geeeez he does that all the time. we're like bro and sis i guess. we annoy each other. but theres times when i'm serious and he doesn't take me cereally.. i don't like it. i actually feel like the older sister sometimes because yeah. i try to be cool with whatever but then there's a lot of times when it's like what i say doesn't matter. i try to include him in practices cuz i feel really bad that marjorie's not always here for practices. i get that he might be impatient about her not being there, but i get really impatient sometimes too yah know..

today i got really upset when i came from the kitchen at practice today into the garage and everyone was looking at porn on my laptop. that wasn't funny.. usually i'd be like ha haaaaaaaaa or whatever but dude. it's my house. if u wanna look at porn, do that at some other place, not my house. i felt really disrespected, i have to be straight up about that. i'm hearing different things about what happened and who started it.. but i'm choosing to believe one person because i really trust her. when i asked sergio why he did what he did he denied everything and i guess i got too mad.. thing is though is that he still lied to me and said he had nothing to do with it. um yeah i don't buy that, sorry. and like he does so much for me, but still, what he did was innappropriate.. i just got really frustrated after that, especially after he said "fuck this" and left.

marjorie and natalie are coming over tomorrow to practice and to go with me to newark for the dress fittings. can't wait to see marjorie again. i just wish i saw her everyweek and that she and natalie come to every single practice, because we really do need everyone everytime. i want them to be here (and it's super hard since they're so far), and this doesn't just apply to the two of them..

not everyone has been attending practice. well, the girls at least. i'm surprised it's the girls not showing up, and that the guys are usually here. but still, my cotillion's coming up and i cereally need everyone -_- we've really only had like one practice with EVERYONEEEE here together. lol and um that's not good.

what's hard for me is when i'm told that they have 'something to do' on the day we have practice. it's hard for me not to be lenient omg lol. ugh. but maaaan. i need the practices actually part of their schedule ):

everyone's been doing a good job catching up though, it's just the group parts that needs. work.

i'm honestly not having as much fun in cotillion practices as much as i thought i would. i really wanna cry a lot of times cuz i'm so frikkin stressed about it, but i try to convince myself it'll all be worth it in the end. i really hope so.